life and death and unemployment

Some days are harder than others.

Yesterday I spent hours and hours updating and translating my CV, while also trying to find a host through Couchsurfing for our upcoming trip to Copenhagen in Denmark this weekend.

The day started out quite fine. I went to my lung doctor to test the status of the asthma problem I have. Now, that winter is upon us and the first snowfall is still on the ground and the temperatures are below 0C almost every day, is the season where I normally have most problems with my asthma.
I wont say I dont have problems this year, but the medicines to prevent me from getting sick and have reactions are definately helping according to the tests we performed.  Results are good. Very good and doctor is pleased.

I went home after the doctors visit to write couchrequests for Denmark. First thing I was met with was two declined requests, however that didnt bother me.
I normally dont go to a place for the sake of the place, I normally always travel somewhere after having spoken to the person I’ll visit and then book the tickets. First thing I was struck by is that there are so many profiles to look through. Even members of the emergency couch / last minute couch groups mostly have their couch status set to NO, only host 1 or you have to bring your own blankets.  Then of the ones that are left you have to find an interesting host that will be a good match. It takes time.

I wrote and searched and wrote and searched and in the middle of it all I was called by a recruiter about a possibly interesting job – That was the high of my day. But they would need my CV in english so I changed focus and spent a few hours translating my CV before sending it off for final correction. I know I write english well, but I will not risk sending off a CV that has incorrect data or formulations on it just because I was lazy. When that was done, corrected and sent I continued searching for a host – however still no luck. I wrote so many couchrequests in the end that when I went to bed I dreamt of the rejections and slept bad all night due to it.

This morning I woke up way early and checking my facebook an old school friend of mine posted on her wall that her babys father had passed away from cancer last night. All my thoughts go to her and the baby in this hard time, and at the same time I could not help from feeling guilty over feeling sad for my own situation. There are always someone else that needs support more or that are in a worse situation than yourself, and even if I struggle today and will for some days or weeks – a child just lost her father, a woman just lost her man to forever.

I am loosing too, but not to forever.

However I know very well what it feels like to loose to forever – and it is like walking through hell on earth. I wish that on noone, yet it is such a big part of life.

On the bright side, we finally got an approval for a host in Copenhagen, which may have saved my day…


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